My Birthday is coming up soon, and I pray I live to see it, God's will. As I lay in my bed this morning, thanking God, praying, repenting, and meditating on God's goodness and consistency. I realized that I am 46-0. What do I mean? I have overcome struggles in my 46 years of life that did not take me out. I am victorious. The traumas and barriers I have encountered in my 46 years of life that I thought would take me out, never did. They have taught me I can make it through anything. As I lay here I can say I have 46 years of wins under my belt. If it wasn't for my coach Jesus and my training in the Word of God (Holy Bible), I would be knocked out (ko) in the boxing ring of life. Hanging on the ropes with all I had just trying to take another breath. Yep, life can be like that sometimes.
I think about my first match in the ring of life. I was 11 years old when I begged my mother to find my absentee biological father. My mother reluctantly agreed to search for him. With no other options, she filed for child support as a last resort hoping that the State of Illinois could find him. And let me tell you, They found him quicker than a roach fleeing for their life😅. I was so excited about getting the news that they found him. Unfortunately, my young mind was too innocent to comprehend that family court may not be the best way to meet your biological father for the first time. I didn't care, I was going to see my daddy. I would have the chance to say all the things that I saw my friends say to their dads and hug them tightly. I was ready to tell him how much I loved him, and I missed him.
I was ready. Unfortunately, my biological father was not. So much so, that he somehow got our home phone number to call and tell us. He didn't get to speak to my mother that day because she was at work, but I was, and I answered the phone. I will never forget that conversation.
Me: Hello
Him: Where is that b*tch Mary?
Me: Who is this?
Him: I'm your f*ing daddy. ( I remember how slurred his speech was and realizing he was drunk)
Me: She is not here
Him: You tell that b*tch that I am not giving her a d*mn dime. And that she can kiss my ....
Me: Don't be mad at her, I asked her to find you because I want to know you, I love you, I want to meet you.
Him: Well I don't want to meet you, I don't want a m*thrf*ing thing to do with your little ugly a**. I don't even know you.
Me: (Said a lot of choice words no 11-year-old should say) But in that moment I had to protect my mother and myself.
Him: hangs up the phone.
At that moment at 11 years old, I realized why my mother did not want to find him. I was so grateful that she loved me enough to have shielded me from his toxicity for so long. When my mother returned home from a long day of work. I remember looking her in the eyes and asking her to stop the child support. She was in shock and asked me why. All I could say was I didn't need to know him and that we were happy without him. I didn't tell her about the call until my adult years. Even at a young age, I knew that I had all that I needed. And even at 11, I was comforted in knowing that I had a father in heaven who loved me, and that was enough for me.
Looking back over my life I am so humbled. Life has beat me down before, had me against the ropes, or had pinned me up in the corner of the ring. But I can say that no matter my opponent (Fear, disappointment, anxiety, depression, financial issues, illnesses, grief, etc) God has NEVER allowed these things to KNOCK me out. I have won every match, I am 46-0.
I want you to reflect on your own life and ask yourself how many times have you been knocked down, beaten down by life but yet you get back up stronger than before and start throwing punches. You are a fighter, You have never given up, because you are still here. You have won so many matches, and you will win this one too. The next time you get in the ring, I want you to remember that you are (fill in your age) ____ - 0! You are a Champion.
Author: Latresia Cox,
Owner of Shatter Zone
Jackson, TN
© Copyright, 2024 Latresia Cox. On Shatterzonetn.com, All Rights Reserved.
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